Unforgettable

The people, the whole experience... Both.

I'm not a first time visitor, so Sri Lanka is a destination that feels more like coming home than anything novel. But somehow, each visit brings something new and the feeling that I never want to leave.

Sanka, one of many special friends. >>

This time the highlights were a combination of meeting friends from previous visits and making new ones. It included another great stay at a familiar hotel, impromptu parties, great food and nice tropical settings.

Much of what happened was not planned... and that is without a doubt the best way to travel. Sure, a couple of hotel reservations are nice to have, but the best experiences arise unexpectedly. I had booked a hotel stay with full board, but the unexpected portion was the great staff I got to know there.

Positive Spin Aside

It's easy to give a false impression by mentioning only the good stuff, like those in-flight magazines with their glossy pics and tales of paradise. It's all PR BS and the most boring thing to read. With any trip there will be a mix of both good and bad.

Peaceful lake setting at Dodunduwa, near Hikkaduwa

All was not picture perfect during my trip. Most of my beach days were spoilt with rain, although I have to admit it was refreshing on the first day to stroll the beach in swimwear during a downpour.

I ended up with a ringworm rash and got a nasty burn when an ankle rubbed against the silencer on a bike I was riding as passenger. And not all of the parties were a blast. I found myself with one group that consisted of a friend I knew from before and some of his friends. As it turned out, one of the guys was the senior among them, the rest subordinates, so it was sort of like being at an office party--everybody deferring to the boss.

Street in Rajagiriya >>

Then there was the mess that is Colombo. It's hard to say what this city has going for it. The tree cover in some parts of the city is nice but that is about it.

As one Sri Lankan friend reflected, you cannot walk on the streets, the air is dirty--the city is both pedestrian and traffic unfriendly, very unfriendly. There is no method for crossing the road but to risk life and limb. Colombo has no parks or beach front to speak of despite its ideal location. There are no street cafes, no decent shopping arcades and, though I'm not a night-life person, I doubt there is much in this department either. (There is one park, the Viharamaha Devi, but the trouble it takes to get to and from it basically negates what respite it might offer.)

<< Beach in Hikkaduwa turns idyllic once weather clears.

Come evening and the dark streets are just a tangle of buses, three-wheelers, cars and death defying pedestrians struggling to get home from no doubt dreary days at work.

Ok, every third-world city is like this, but Colombo has less of an excuse. It has a relatively small population, a lot of natural greenery and a long, beach-lined coast. Add to that an easy-going, friendly and law-abiding population. None of this is exploited to make the city more habitable for residents or interesting for tourists.

Friends and Friendly Folk

One friend, who will go unnamed, has cautioned me, his exact words:

Just a piece of advice for you, dont be so kind to our people, okay.

I know what he means but I don't know that I am that concerned.

"Too kind" I suppose means parting with money and goods when a friendly person asks. In other words, the ulterior motive behind some of the friendship is just that--to get something from you.

So are the smiles and the words and deeds of friendship not genuine?

In fact I think it is a rather complex issue as there is probably a mix of motives on either side. Don't I want something as well when I befriend a Sri Lankan?

<< Interior of a home shown off by a new friend.

I will say that one thing, the offer to visit the home of someone I've just meant, has often come too easily and too quickly. In that sense it seems a bit insincere.

I have experienced this a lot and have visited some, politely refused others and more commonly given an indefinite, "We'll see."

The motive here is often to show how poor I am and how hard my life is compared to where you come from.

All of that aside, however, I have made great friends on this and other trips to Sri Lanka. I've generally had more fun and more good human interaction than in any other place I've lived in or visited.

While Walking on the Beach One Day


This is the first of several anecdotes I have to share. I'd like to provide a glimpse into how one gets to know the people behind those friendly faces who smile and greet you.

I took the initiative this time. A bunch of young guys on the beach all wearing the same navy blue t-shirts must have been students or young officers, I thought. I greeted one who was among a group of three or four. He greeted me in return and we chatted. His cohorts were quiet--perhaps not very confident in speaking English. Later I asked to take a snapshot, they consented, and that was pretty much that. Strike out!

The next day, on the same beach I went for a stroll and along the way passed many groups of frolicking Sri Lankan youth, families, older folks and kids. It was a Sunday thus the many groups of Sri Lankans.

There were many young men at the beach who attracted my attention. They were either playing in the water with friends or reclining in the sand.

After walking a full stretch I began to make my way back passing again the same gatherings of beachgoers. One man particularly struck my fancy but I continued to walk past. Then I thought, I'll go back and greet him, so I turned and began heading his way.

(Would I ever do this on a Dubai beach? No... it doesn't work quite that way here.)

Don't Worry Mustafa

Hello came a friendly voice from a smiling young man playing in the sand. I hadn't yet reached the man I was on the way to greet but I stopped and chatted with the friendly stranger, instead. He was sitting down, I sat down beside him and we began a nice, friendly conversation. Shortly afterwards several of his friends came around and we were soon a group of seven.

After a few words exchanged on a beach >>

All the boys seemed to be in their twenties. All were Tamils from Colombo and all were Roman Catholic.

We had a lot to talk about--I was happy to get to know a group of Tamils for the first time in Sri Lanka and they were all happy to get to know a foreigner.

Before long we were all singing the popular AR Rahman song, "Don't Worry Mustafa," one of the few Tamil songs I kind of knew. That would be the glue to cement our new friendship.

We kept in touch by mobile and in a few days I would arrange to have them all as guests in my hotel room in Colombo. They all came, we had a little to drink and we all got to know each other better. All were fine young gentleman, and so it would be the start of a new friendship with several young men. We exchanged all contact details and have remained in touch since then.

<< All Tamil, all Catholic, all fine young gentlemen. Other Sri Lankan Male Travel Accounts: Hotel Sri Lanka Only In Sri Lanka In Sri Lanka (last week of May '09)

A Word to Sanka...

My friend, if you are reading this post, a special shout out to you and a big thank you. I remember your words to me... "You're So Gay!"

Yeah, I am... whatever you think that means. Take care my friend.


All photos appearing in this SLM post are original SLM blogsite images. I place no restrictions on the use of these images but only ask for a courtesy link or reference to the Sri Lankan Male blogsite when posting or publishing the images elsewhere.


Postscript:
50 Words (the Author's Aside)

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Several days on, the trip to Sri Lanka still lingers with me. It was better there than here frankly, I have to admit.

So, how can I reproduce here the good times I'd had in Sri Lanka? Whatever the case, memories soon fade. Time will tell what is truly unforgettable.

50 words, No. 006 (←/→)

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