The Problem With Gay Pride

I understand why this slogan is put forward.

If you are gay, society often seems to be saying that something's not right with you.

So you feel a need to stand up for yourself and say...

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I'm proud to be who/what I am.

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I get that, but I don't believe the notion of pride is what this statement is really about.

It is really an assertion of self-acceptance.

So, whether it is being gay and proud, black and proud or whatever the chant of the day, the point is not really about being proud, but about being accepting of oneself, for whomever or whatever you are--good or bad, strong or weak, beautiful or ugly.


Bodybuilders, Take Pride!
(Hats off to the bodybuilders of India--they're at the top of their game!)
It really isn't about affirming contrasts either or moralizing as though to suggest straight = good and gay = bad, but rather that there is no value difference between being left-handed or right-handed, having green eyes or blue or being gay or straight.

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The word pride is a different sort of animal.

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Pride is about a positive sense of achievement--your own or someone else's.

Pride is also about knowing that you've got something of value that few others have--as in a talent for singing, dancing, painting, hairstyling or whatever.

Pride is a good word and what it represents is of real importance, but I don't see that it is helpful to say something like "I am proud for having brown eyes."

Why, would that make me any better than a person with hazel eyes?

So does being gay make me any better than someone who is not?

Is anyone justified in thinking he is any better for being straight?

The equation that needs to be made is NOT that I am better or that I have pride in myself because of an inherited or adopted attribute.

Rather, that I ACCEPT MYSELF as no less and no more human than the next person.

It is no better nor worse that I am gay, bi- or straight, male, female or transexual, or whatever the variety of human characteristic I possess.

It is not, in fact, important to highlight or proclaim my difference, but rather to affirm my sameness as a fellow human being.

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It's all about accepting oneself and making a statement of equality.

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What the gay person has to affirm is...
I am of equal worth to anyone else on this planet.
Focusing on the word pride confuses the point.

When you have, for example, a gay pride event it seems often the emphasis is placed on showing how different one is as a gay person.

The flamboyant colors, the skimpy outfits, the excessive make-up, the lewd gestures...

There seems to be an effort to make a statement about one's identity by way of extreme contrasts.

But I don't see how this aids in the goal of fostering more acceptance of oneself or of gaining acceptance from others.

Instead of taking the notion of gay pride to emphasize how different, and by extension, how special we are, why not use language that emphasizes how much we are the same and how much we have in common?

Bodybuilding represents the apex of male beauty and masculinity.

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Acceptance, not Pride

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Gay Acceptance, rather than gay pride, I beleive, would be a better phrase and cause to rally around.

It might well be more effective in enticing the larger community to join with us in making our affirmation of sameness and equality.

Gay pride, on the other hand, and the events associated with it, can antagonize even other gay men and women, much less the general public.

But I'm not quite sure what a Gay Acceptance parade or event might look like.

Granted, it could be simply boring to hold an event where the focus is on just being normal. On the other hand, the gay pride formula might work if it were just toned down and made to be more inclusive.

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What would a "gay acceptance" event look like as opposed to a "gay pride" event?

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Gay Pride events might feature things like fashion shows or disco parties where men dress in drag and everyone lets loose.

That's all well and good, but it seems to be more fun for fun's sake rather than a way to address the social stigma and isolation that gay men and women experience.

These so-called pride events risk defeating the purpose of generating understanding and good will from others, and it even inhibits some gay people from accepting a gay identity.

They are not comfortable with the caricatures that are displayed and acted out and may feel even more compelled to stay in the closet.

It is the sort of thing that oddly causes some gay men to look askance at and denigrate other gay men.

The reaction of many will be to think...

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That's not me...
I'm not that person in drag...
I'm not that loud person.

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It just makes it that much harder for a gay person to assert with confidence and accept his or her own identity.

There should be a frankness and openness, but not of the in-your-face variety.

There needs to be sharing and revelation on a person-to-person level rather than out in the streets.

The comfort level needs to be elevated on both sides so that fear and prejudice can begin to subside.

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Gay Acceptance, and not gay pride, is what we need.

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I am not sure how one goes on to affirm this publicly. Maybe it isn't a public, street-based event that is needed at all. But a coming together of gay men and women to support and offer affirmation to each other--even if in quiet--is a good way to start.

		That is my suggestion anyway--gay men and women--let us affirm each other! Why not meet in quiet first, and build our own supportive networks and communities?

The bodybuilder is one to truly take pride in his achievements.
The photos appearing in this SLM post are of south Indian bodybuilders from Arabmuscle.net and have been edited to complement the theme of this post. I place no claim of ownership on any but original SLM images, indicated when such is the case. Original SLM images are free for use in any format, but I request a courtesy link back to this website.
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